Happy Thanksgiving!

If you are reading this entry in the “Blog-O-Mer” then my plan to hack in, infiltrate....I mean.....post a lovely note about my wife has succeeded! Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the massive amounts of blessings each of us have. I am thankful to be able to share a few thoughts with you. Without further whatever……….I present to you, my 2008 version of “Life with Wife”.

1. Merrilee Lee – Kismit?

2. Our mall in Dubuque was basically off limits. So much retail fluff in there – gives my lovely wife a headache. Big-box, mainstream, mass-consumption, parking problems……..”Honey, I heard that the Dubuque Humane Society has a store in there now, can we go see the kitties?” We now have one mandatory stop every time we are in Dubuque!

3. We have cable for two reasons: Ghost Hunters & British accents. I tend to migrate more to Chicago sports. A television in the Man-cave has been provided for this purpose.

4. You may have seen the ads on TV about the Dannon yogurt that has magical ingredients (bacteria) that is healthier for your digestive system than other yogurts (and more expensive). I was eating that yogurt for a bit of time until Mer convinced me that it is a “Yogurt Marketing Ploy.” I now eat Yoplait…………………it tastes better.

5. 5-POUND TATER TOT CASSEROLES!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!

6. While we’re on the food issue (amazing that I went there) I have a few more insights. Mer tells me that all my memories revolve around food; where I ate, what I ate…..This just isn’t true…I can remember our first date…..we both wore green tops and jeans on the bottoms, we sat in a booth next to an old picture on the wall, she told me what year the picture was taken and the style of house the people stood in front of. We started our date in Illinois, drove to Wisconsin and then Iowa – our first date – a tri-state date. We had a wonderful time together – I found her wit to be challenging and lovely. She of course pursued me from the beginning, constantly hounding me with calls and love letters. I never once flirted with her – I simply told her in my banker-boy wit “I will attend an evening of conversation with you”. By the way, I had a ham steak (nice and salty pork)!

7. This year she finally did it. Mer got me hooked on canning. She was proud of that accomplishment. She also found an old silver quarter in the change at the museum!

8. We have two wonderful, darling (these are not my words) cats. She has taught me how to personify these cats in all situations. It is like a living cartoon. We love them and they know that. And they know who is in charge. We have made it clear to them that, if their behavior worsens and/or economic times warrant, that they could be a stew-kitty and a roaster-kitty. And they know the difference! We would never eat the cats (or would we mwaa-ha-hah-ha) but we do know that the indoor plants love the spray bottle and the cats hate it. We also know that if it were not for our cats, the couch and rugs would float away from gravity. They have taught us that the soles of our shoes need to be massaged quite regularly for the best comfort and that in every good cat fight (and our cats belong to the UFC – ultimate fighting cats) there is always time for a 2 minute self cleaning break.

9. Did you know that knitting attracts cats? I learned that from my wife.

10. We have a faulty dryer. It shrinks the waist in all my pants. It has forced me to buy expand-a-pants with the comforting stretch band. This has nothing to do with my love of all things dairy and my annual winter hibernation. It has to do with the faulty dryer. My lovely Merrilee agrees with a “Yes Honey”. We both know that ultimately it is Gus’ fault. Gus is the roaster kitty. He takes the blame for many things like global warming, why Saturday Night Live is horrible and of course, FAULTY DAMN DRYERS (sorry for the strong language).

11. My wife is amazing and I am about to tell you why. If you come home from the grocery store with 8 full bags, two gallons of water and a gallon of milk, how many trips from your car to your kitchen would you make? I believe this average would be 3-4 trips. For me it would be at least 4 trips. For Mer, 1 TRIP! She takes pride in this ability to carry ¼ of Wal-mart from the trunk, up the stairs, past two semi-conscience cats to the kitchen. I ask to help…..”No, Honey, I’ve got it”. I am convinced my wife can dead lift the equivalent of 474 large cans of Campbell’s soup (which I don’t like – try Progresso!).

12. I know my wife loves me. She lets me run a boarding house for homeless post-holiday Poinsettias. She also didn’t get upset when I planted part of a fallen tree next to our garage. It was from a tree at my parent’s farm that I wanted to re-root and save. She said it would die. I didn’t give up hope. Next to the tree, many pumpkin vines started to sprout. I threw out a bunch of pumpkins there last year. Mer always tells me that the best pumpkins are “Sh-t pumpkins”. Long story short, the tree died, for good this time. But all was not lost. That lil’ baby was the best pumpkin trellis ever!

13. The Sunday Nap. The world would be a better place if we all did the “Sunday Nap”. Mer does it. In fact, she has perfected it. I think she should write further about the wonder that is the “Sunday Nap”. She will show you the way. The cats apply this principal to the remaining 6 days of the week. For me, it is simple….either stay quiet or join the Sunday Nap Movement!

May you all have a happy turkey-induced nap this Thursday! Happy Thanksgiving

Mr. Lee